Adirondack Mountains Baby

Vacation for a WEEK.

Bye Bye!

=D

Lose my number

Alright, well where do i start? I worked an overnight friday night. Crazy as hell, busy as hell. It finally died down around the time i was supposed to go home THANK GOD! Anyway, as i was at work this girl that i have not talked to, in like 3 months texted me. She thought i was actually SCARED of her. REALLY sweetie, your as skinny as a rail. Anyway, she tried her hardest to get me upset and mad at her, but it only made me laugh and made time at work go a lot faster.

However, it aggravates me that out of the blue she texts me and wants to start a fight with me. I mean really? do you think i care that Josh's trashy friends don't like me? I am actually glad they don't like me so that way i don't have to see them! Does she actually think that i had a trashy wedding? Well, all i got to say about that is-have you seen the pictures?! My wedding was far from a white trash wedding. So she is dating this dead beat boyfriend right. She thinks she is IN LOVE, when all he does is talk shit and lie to her. Psh, that is what i want. Anyway, there was more, but those were just things that were on my mind right now. But seriously Kamarie, before you go and TEXT someone, make sure you have a real fight, because all you did was talk about stuff i didn't care about and the past.

Moving on to better stuff. I am FINALLY getting excited about going away. I am so sick of working. I have done nothing but work since tuesday, and i am sick of it. I just want to have a real life. I want to go swimming. I want to do something fun for the summer instead of working all the time... I can't wait to see my mom... even though she can't call me back and me and her husband are planning my arrival.

I'm over it. Nothing can make me mad right now. But I have to get ready for work now. I work 1-9. (even though i did an 11-8 shift yesterday) Wish me luck.

Text fighting is over rated, next time do it in person.

Fresh start

I've decided to let it all go. I am going to be free from trouble. And by trouble, i hope you know what i mean. But anyhow.. i did something REALLY dumb today. I am supposed to work 8-2 today. Well, i woke up at 7 and went to work only to find out that i work at 8PM until 2AM! So i worked until eleven and went home only to come back a few hours later.

So now i am going to end the chapter about Britney and Wendy today. I found out she read my message to her and all she could say was "How do i respond to something like that?!" Well, it is easy, you call the person and get the REAL facts. But. Wendy is so naive about this situation that she will never find out the real truth. So, I don't care anymore. However, it still seems unsettled to me because I can't solve this problem. But for once in my life, I don't need to solve a problem. Let bygones be bygones i suppose. I'm tired of regretting the past I didn't make any mistakes with this one.

Moving on to something else- I have to get a new couch now. My dog got really sick on it and pretty much ruined my couch. Got a couch?! Let me know.

Work tonight is going to suck. I have never done an overnight before, and supposedly it is going to be super busy. GREAT, just what i want right! But whatever, its money. I have to get up and go to work at eleven tomorrow. Ha ha.

As i look throughout my house i noticed about twenty ice tea cups that need to be cleaned up. So, i guess before i go to work i better clean them up. They just keep piling up and its getting really bad.

It's time to forget the past, move on and get over it. They're already over it..

-Brooke Alyse Pautler

An end to a long day.

I've found it quite hard to wake up these past few days. I feel like i am slugging around this planet with no purpose. What is my purpose? I go to work at McDonald's ( a place I don't want to be at for the rest of my life.) I honestly do not know what to do with myself anymore. Should i just cry and get it over with? I'm hurt and I'm upset. I feel like what i work for, just gets thrown out the window. My own mother can't even take my phone calls. Whenever i call her she says "I'll call you back" she never calls me back. Not once has she ever. I am always the one calling her back. What is new right... she's been doing it my whole life. Besides the point, today i feel like crap. Me and Josh had a nice lunch, and we sat outside with the pooches. But i just can't get what happened out of my head. Every time i think about what happened, i just get more and more upset! I have too much on my mind apparently.

I go see my adoring mother next week. However, i really don't know why i am going. She never wants to talk to me. She's always tired or her latest excuse was "I'm cold". O.k mom.. whatever. But anyway, I am going to go see her on Wednesday. Am i looking forward to it?!? No, not really. But i know i have to go see her.. regardless of how she treats me. I get to leave my husband and my babies just to see her and her stupid husband whom i hate with a burning passion. Moving on...

I can't seem to get over what happened with this little girl that i mentioned of yesterday. Just the thought of me not being able to see her, makes me sad and lonely. But then when i REALLY think about it, she must want this because why would she tell her mother things that were untrue... ?!?!?! I don't know what exactly happened, but i do now that i am not going to hate a twelve year old. However, I hope they find her headgear at their house.

This week has gone by to slow. It's been my worst week all year and i've had some pretty bad ones. However, after all the shitty stuff that has happened this week, i realize how much i love my husband and how much i really need him. He is the one that keeps me going every day. He's the one that keeps me SANE. I look at him every day and think about how lucky i am to have such a great husband. I love him with all my heart, and i couldn't ask for a better husband. He's my only friend that i have left now. All my other friends ditched me... That's another story for another day. I don't feel like getting depressed all over again. ;)

Lets hope the next couple of days are better then the last few.

-Brooke Alyse Pautler

Too long; too much drama

Its been wayy to long since i have been on blogger. LOL. Wow, so much is different now. I'm married now! ha ha. Well, i feel like there needs to be a place where i just write about stuff. I need to get stuff off of my chest... So i am starting this as my new blog area. Disregard my earlier posts. I had to do that as a class assignment.

So today, i am really upset about a little girl and her mother. This is what i have to say,

This is from an outraged mother, (mind you-she emailed me this)
I did block your phone numbers from ours because I am extremely uncomfortable with your behavior. There needs to not be ANY derogatory communication via the internet or any other means to Britney or myself. I will be checking and if there is I will take appropriate action.

Hey, thanks for blocking my number, now i don't have to read all your texts or listen to all your voicemails.

okay.. so since i am not ALLOWED to contact her, i decided i would post this instead..
Okay.. I have to get this off my chest... comments would be nice on this story.. I would like to know if I AM THE BAD GUY OR THE VICTIM!!!!

So... i take this little girl in right. I let her spend the night at my house WHENEVER SHE WANTS! I let her EAT WHATEVER SHE WANTS, i take her DARIEN LAKE, i HELP HER MOTHER OUT, i clean her house, i HELP CLEAN HER ROOM... i did nothing be HELP THEM.
One day, the girl spends the night at my house. LEAVES HER HEADPHONES AND IPOD ON TOP OF BAG ON FLOOR. We leave to get food- my puppy chews her headphones. I replace them. Next day we go to her house, have dinner with her mom and she tells me "oh, i forgot my headgear at your house. I can't find it anywhere.. i must have left it there!" So i am like.. Ok tell your mom you want to spend the night at my house again. So she spent the night at my house. We searched for the headgear for HOURS. Couldn't find it. Next morning we go to lunch with her mother. Doesn't tell her mom anything until they get home. By this time me and josh have cleaned our whole house looking for her headgear because she is BEGGING us to look for it so she doesn't get in trouble. FINALLY she tells her mother (this is when it ALL STARTS) her mom texts me non stop "find my daughters headgear.. search..search...search.." so me and josh SEARCH again.. no luck. (my apartment is NOT THAT BIG!!!! but apparently to them it is...) anyway.. then her mother calls me and is like "maybe your dogs ate her headgear" WTF REALLY? METAL? ARE YOU SERIOUS? "no... they did not eat her headgear." By this time i am REALLY mad. But knowing me, i let it go for awhile. UNTIL she keeps texting me and calling me! (ok. back up the bus. this lady calls like 10x a day. Not even lieing on this one. When her daughter is here she calls even more. Its crazy. ! Like.. really, do you have to call a person THAT MUCH????) okay anyway, so now her and the little girl both have it in there heads that my DOG ATE HER HEADGEAR and the whole time i'm like..really?! because i don't see any remains or anything... and i don't see why they would chew metal. (now i hope you know why this all started... Daisy ate her PLASTIC headphones. Well no duh little girl, leave stuff out like that it is going to get eaten. She was warned!! But metal? NO WAYY!!!! So this girl comes and spends the night sunday. I am VERY UPSET with her and her mother at this point. I didn't even want her at my house, that is how pissed i was. But while she was here i talked to her about how wrong it is to blame other people for her own actions. I told her that she own up to what she did. I ALSO SAID you and YOUR MOTHER BOTH owe me and josh an apology for what you guys have put us through. (i mean her mother TEXTED ME AND CALLED WHILE I WAS AT WORK!!!!) She told me that she DID tell her mom that she was the one that said that the dogs could have eaten it! THAT WAS ALL I SAID. Other than that i am upset because i thought she should be more responsible with her stuff. I even said this to her "When i lose things, i own up to what i did.. I am not going to blame people for what i have done." Which is what this girl was doing! HER and HER MOTHER both thought that my dogs ate her headgear. While i was looking at this girl i told her that i loved her, and that this talk was only because i loved her and wanted to help her. I didn't want her to end up like me. Because when i was her age i did something very similar. And this older girl CAROLINA (who is on my facebook now) talked to me and told me that what i was doing was wrong, and that i needed to own up my responsibilities. So here i thought, maybe.. if i talk to this little girl i can help her like carolina did for me.. ... .... well i was wrong.

Her mother called me Monday and flipped on me for things i did not say.. the girl told her mother that i pretty much BLAMED HER (and i said HER AND HER MOTHER!!!!) and that she told her mother stuff that I DID NOT SAY TO HER! she seemed to leave out the part that i told her i love her and i am only looking out for her... typical twelve year old. She was actually going to come to my house because her mother thought i owed her an apology for talking to her daughter the way i did.. i called her and tried talking to her.. her mother hung up on me.
what a great mom huh!

SO today i got that email. this is what i have to say to this little girl and her mother. I HOPE YOU READ THIS

"All i did was try to help you and your daughter. I never did anything wrong. I will never help you or your daughter again. What you did to me and Josh was totally un-called for. Do you know how crazy you seem for doing this to us? I cannot believe you did this, and you stooped to blocking us. really?! you always called us remember. All we ever did was try to help you. I don't care if somewhere down the road you want to apologize, you will never be welcomed in my house ever again. I will NEVER do anything for you or her again. I WILL NOT BE TREATED LIKE THAT BY YOU OR YOUR DAUGHTER!!!! I AM AN ADULT WHO DESERVES RESPECT, JUST LIKE YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE! I AM NO DIFFERENT BECAUSE I AM A YOUNG ADULT!! Your daughter lied to you AND ME. YOUR DAUGHTER LIED TO ME and betrayed me and JOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT all you hear is what your little perfect angel says. Everything she does is perfect. well your wrong. she lied, and she lied BIG TIME. maybe before you call me, or my husband you should get ALL THE FACTS and not trust a twelve year old. You're really going to take a twelve year olds words over a twenty year old who is married and has NO NEED TO LIE ABOUT SOMETHING SO DUMB?!! I don't have time or energy for you and your daughters drama. I just want you both to remember that i was always there for you two whenever both of you needed to talk, not once did i ever say anything that you didn't want me to say. And for your daughter, i was always there for her, i did everything for her. I loved her like she was my sister. I am so disappointed in her and YOU. But you've run everyone off now and ruined good relationships.. I'm sorry i ever helped you both."

What people.. Anyway. That is not the only thing on my mind today.

My bank decided to charge me $20.00 every time i went over a dollar... EVEN though i have a line of credit!!! So i went onto my account today, and i was negative $200.00 just because of all the overdraft fees!!!! CRAZY.. So i called and complained, and i got my money refunded to me. =) That is a plus though. However, i still have no money to do ANYTHING!

I am going to my moms July 15! So excited.... psh yea right

-Brooke Alyse Pautler